Saturday, April 23, 2016


Disclaimer: All characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also this story is meant for entertainment purposes and I do not intend to hurt the sentiments of any individual, community, sect or religion. 
“Get ready. How long will you be involved with your work?” shouted mom. “I told you to be ready by 4 that we need to go to Mrs. Verma’s place to see their girl and you are still not ready. Get ready immediately. ”
Before she shouts again, it thought it best to switch off my laptop and complete the rest of the work later on. Well for all those who don’t know me, I am Raghav, a freelancer by profession. By freelancing, most people feel I do data entry or post ads on the internet as that’s what is most common amongst free lancers in India. I don’t do that. I write content for websites after watching videos, add tags, and give titles to make them interesting to users. I am also a part time script writer for short videos.
I got ready in few minutes and left with my parents to Mrs. Verma’s home whose daughter had just completed her MBA and is working in an MNC. I told mom why anyone who was brilliant and well educated be interested in someone who doesn’t have a regular job. But mom asked me to shut up and so I did. My mom is the all-in-all at my home. She is the PM, Home Minister, Finance Minister, everything rolled into one and both I and dad don’t dare questioning her on anything.
After a short drive, we reached Mrs. Verma’s home. My parents exchanged pleasantries and we sat down. Throughout the exercise, I was at my smiling best and did not say one word as I had clear instructions from mom to speak only when it’s needed.
 After we sat down, the daughter came out carrying a tray in her hand to serve tea, with her head a little lowered and smiling shyly.
“You have such a beautiful girl and she is also well educated. I like her already” my mom remarked.
“Thank you ji. She has been a topper all her life. You can see all those trophies there- they were all won by her. Also she is not just good in studies, she also dances very well. She is trained in Kathak and has also danced in shows when she was young. Of course, she doesn’t get much time now as she is working in an MNC. Know what these MNCs pay well but they also make you work like hell. But that is also okay if they are paying her 1 lakh per month, then they would also expect her to accept responsibility, isn’t it?” Mrs. Verma said singing praise of her daughter and also boasting of her pay package.
“Yes, that is also true. I must say your daughter in very talented” dad spoke.
“So what do you do?” Mr. Verma asked me.
But before I could open my mouth, mom jumped in with the answer. “He did get a number of jobs but he always said that he doesn’t like working under a boss. We said that is also okay. If you don’t want to work under a boss, then do business. So he started his business. Initially there was a struggle but now, his business is spread across countries and he earns 5-6 lakhs every month easily.”
“Yes, business is very good. But not everyone can do business. Even bright people at times are not able to run businesses. For business, you need a different kind of an attitude and you need great persistence. What business do you do beta?”
Even before I could open my mouth, mom jumped in again, “Well he is a content writer. He writes contents for various websites. Also he says he is also getting into script writing recently for some short movies. He is very creative you see. Even when he was in school, he had won lots of prizes in poetry and short story competition. He was also the editor of his college magazine.”
“Wah! You must be a very creative person then. Perhaps someday, you would write scripts for full movies as well and we will come to see you receive the Filmfare award” Mrs. Verma spoke clearly impressed with mom’s answers. “So what kind of scripts do you like writing- comedy, family movies or thrillers?”
“Mainly porn.” I beat mom to speak first.
There was a silence for some time in the room. I spoke again, “I watch around 100 videos a day and write their brief summary of the video, add a title to the video and create tags to make it easy for people to search that video.”
Soon the Verma’s verbally abused us all for hiding facts and we were shown the door.
As we were returning home, I had another dose of scolding from my mom as to why I needed to mention that I wrote porn everywhere. This was the sixth time I was rejected because of my job. I explained to mom that it is a crime to hide facts from my future wife, but she continued with her scolding.
I was sorry for the embarrassment that my family had to face because of my answer but also relieved that my mom promised never to take me to anyone’s home to meet them for my marriage. Returning home, I resumed my work.
The days that followed were quiet. My mom was still angry with me and dad would try to come and comfort me occasionally but then retract as he too feared my mom’s anger.
A few months later, my mom came home very happy and I could easily sense danger. Every time she has been very happy, she has taken me to meet someone for marriage who would ask me about my profession and abuse us for my honest reply. I did not like this ordeal. I did not even want to marry a person who judges me by my job. If at all, I am to marry, I would find someone who would respect me and my job. I had told this to mom as well but as always, she rarely listened to me. She had even asked me to stop my freelancing job and look for a normal day job. She applied on my behalf to a number of companies where I was forced to appear for interviews but when I failed in each of them, she realised that normal jobs are not my cup of tea and she abandoned her efforts.
“What happened mom? You look very happy.” I enquired so as to know where I would have to go now.
“I am very happy today. I have finally found a match for you and guess what I have met her parents as well. She has just returned from the US after completing her doctorate. I showed them your photo and they liked you. The marriage is fixed now but the girl says she wants to meet you once in private. So I have fixed a meeting for you tomorrow at Peshawri in ITC Maratha. So you meet her and talk to her but don’t mention that you write porn.” I assured her I would try to but if she asks me directly what I write then I have no alternative.
The next day as scheduled, I went to the restaurant well before time and sat on the table reserved for me. Mom did bring me a photo of hers and had put that on an envelope at my bed side but I never bothered to have a look. As I was seated, I saw a beautiful girl enter the restaurant and come towards my table and enquired, “Raghav?” I stood up, “Hmm, yes”
“I am Vandana.”
“Yeah. Please sit.”
Vandana was beautiful, like the kind you see in movies or in your dreams. I fell in love with her right away.  She caught me staring at her dumbfounded and she smiled and broke the silence, “I met your mom yesterday. She was really nice. I learnt you were very busy with your work and could not come.”
“Yeah. I was kind of busy yesterday. At times, you are flooded with work you know.”
“Hmm. I know. Work can be crazy at times. So what do you do?”
“I am a content writer. I work as a freelancer for some websites. What do you do?”
“I just completed my PhD and at present I am still searching for a job.”
“Okay. That’s nice. You must be very brilliant then, Dr. Vandana” I smiled trying to charm her.
“Thanks”, she smiled.
“What kind of content do you write? Aunty was also telling me that you had started doing some script writing as well?”
At that time the waiter came to my relief and I could avoid answering my question. She ordered something and I asked the waiter to just make it two. For the first time, I was wondering that perhaps I should lie about my job, knowing fully well that the truth may result in me losing her. She was beautiful and I was in love with her already.
 After the waiter went, I pretended to not remember the question and asked her, “So which subject did you do your PhD in?”
“Psychology. I loved observing people, their behaviour.”
“Yeah. That’s interesting.”
“What did you study?”
“Well I did my Bachelors in Civil Engineering but did not find a job. Besides I did not really like Civil Engineering jobs, so I started to do freelancing.”
“Hmm that’s nice. I believe one should always do a job that one loves.”
“True. So you were born and brought up in Mumbai?”
“No, I completed my schooling in Delhi. My dad was posted there then. And then I shifted to the US soon after school. So I did my college, my masters and PhD all in the US.”
“Okay. So you are new in Mumbai?”
“Hmm, yes.”
“So how do are you liking Mumbai?”
“I like the place. People are warm and not interfering.”
“Yeah. No one cares about what the other does as everyone is so busy with their own lives.”
There was a brief silence for a few seconds before she spoke, “I was asking you regarding your job? So what do you write?”
“I write…” The waiter came again as my saviour and brought the dishes and served us.
After the waiter went, she began again, “So you were saying…”
I put some food in my mouth and after few seconds, I replied, “I write porn.”
She was chewing something and she stopped suddenly on hearing my answer and looked at me. I knew she was going to walk away, but she didn’t and she asked, “As in?”
 “Like I work for various porn websites. They send me the new videos that they receive from all around the world and I view them and I write a brief summary for them, add titles, and tags and then post them on their website.”
There was another pause and my heart skipped a beat thinking that she would sure throw her plate at me but to my relief, she smiled.
“Okay. You are one honest guy I must say. Not many people would be so honest.”
“Thanks, but then I don’t want to start a relationship with a lie. It ruins everything.”
“True. So how many porn movies do you watch every day?”
“Around 100 to 150.”
“Seriously! Are you kidding me? 100 to 150. That’s a lot.”
“Yeah. But that’s my job.”
“Hmm. So how did you get into this?”
“Well during my Engineering days, I had almost a porn addict. Most engineers are as you rarely find beautiful girls in Engineering.”
She smiled, “I know. I have met quite a few desperate Engineers who would send me Facebook requests saying I look good and stuff.”
“They are not lying I must say. You are truly beautiful.”
She smiled shyly, “Thanks. Yes, so what after that?”
“Then I completed my engineering and joined a job. The job involved too much physical labour as you would have to stand in the sun all day doing measurements and calculations and I did not like it much. So I quit my job. At my mom’s behest, I applied for a number of office jobs but did not get selected. It was during this time that I watched The Dark Knight and the lines “If you are good at something, never do it for free” made me think as to what I am good at.”
She laughed. “So you realised you are good at watching porn?”
“Yes precisely. I searched on the internet if there was any job like that and I found one on and I bid for that immediately. As not many people apply for such jobs, I got the job and ever since, I have been doing this.”
She was still laughing a little. “So Mr. Porn Content Writer, you still love watching porn as much.”
“Well when I watched it during my Engineering days, it was quite different from what it is now. Then it was for entertainment and now it is a job. So I don’t enjoy as much but still I get paid well.”
“Hmm. So who is your favourite porn star?”
“None as such. Some are good looking but no favourites as such.”
“Come on, there must be someone? Sunny Leone? All my male friends are crazy about her.”
“Yeah, she is beautiful. But not quite like favourite or something?”
“No one?” she asked
“You must be lying now. There must be someone whose videos you must be watching repeatedly, having wet dreams about her.”
I paused trying to remember if I ever was crazy about anyone like having wet dreams and stuff. “Well yes. I was in college at that time and an MMS scandal had come out of a school girl in Delhi. She was really beautiful and I did have a huge crush on her for a long time.”
“Okay. You still have a crush on her?”
“Not quite. She must have grown old now. That’s at least 10-12 years ago. But then she was the only crush I have had till date.”
“Okay, do you have the video with you?”
“Hmm, not sure.” I paused trying to remember. “Perhaps yes.”
“Can you show that to me?”
“Well it’s a public place. I don’t think showing porn here would be good.
“No, mute the sound. Nobody would get to know, I promise.” she winked.
“Okay.” I searched for the video on my phone and played it and gave her the phone.
She watched the video and started laughing.
A little annoyed, I asked “What is so amusing about the video?”
Amidst peals of laughter, she replied, “This girl is me!!!”

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